Mad May Roundup

Mad May Roundup

In addition to the cyber security scare which plagued the NHS this month, there was a multitude of brick-and-mortar theft attempts up and down the country. Fortunately, not all of these went exactly according to plan, with many a hapless criminal left cursing his luck (or more likely, his clumsiness and incompetence).

Here’s a quick rundown of some bungling burglaries that took place over the last 31 days in the UK and abroad, as several opportunistic outlaws found out the hard way that crime doesn’t pay.

Almost drowned by his own stolen booty

A man was lucky to escape with his life – but not his liberty – this month when he drove straight into a canal wearing a jacket laden with stolen coins. 41-year-old Matthew Sadler had just completed the latest in a string of 50 pub hold-ups with partner-in-crime Richard Palmer when the Old Bill gave chase.

Tearing away at over 80mph through residential streets on his stolen motorbike, Sadler tried to give the long arm of the law the slip by diving onto a canal towpath, only to careen headfirst into the freezing water. With his pockets weighed down by almost £300 in pound coins, Sadler somehow managed to swim to safety and hoist himself onto the shore, only for the police to catch up with him moments later.

His partner was found sleeping on the sofa two days after the event, and the pair of them were dealt prison sentences of six years and four months to think about what they’d done.

No one home?

Sozzled 20-year-old Jamie Mullen decided to give his estranged parents a midnight visit – only to find they’d packed their bags, sold the family home and cleared off for sunnier climes. The inebriated youth had been enjoying a drink when the idea to break into the place of his childhood tickled his fancy, and he duly smashed his way through one window, helped himself to cigarettes and alcohol inside and then smashed back out of another.

Unfortunately for him, his dear old ma and pa had upped sticks some time ago without telling him, since the pair had lost contact with their son following their own separation. The house, now in the hands of its new owners, was undergoing renovations, and Jamie’s caper led to £1,000 of damage.

Feeling in a generous mood, the police offered Mullen the chance to avoid a court appearance by forking out £50 to the injured party – but the reckless tearaway didn’t manage to come up with the funds in time. As a result, he was forced to pay £200 in damages by magistrates and will now have a permanent blemish on his criminal record.

All out of fuel

Meanwhile, over in New Zealand “a pair of boneheads” forgot to fill up their getaway vehicle with petrol, resulting in them coming to a standstill just metres from the scene of their crime.

The hapless burglary took place in Whangarei on the Whareora Road when two unnamed ne’er-do-wells (aged 18 and 23) hurled a brick through the window of a private residence and followed it inside. Helping themselves to a TV, CCTV camera and a healthy supply of beer, they loaded their booty into the boot of their car… only to find it running on empty.

The boys in blue caught up with them making a break for it a short distance from the scene of the crime, and though they did not have any stolen goods on them at the time, they were easily identifiable from the recovered CCTV footage.

Home security is no laughing matter

Though these stories show a lighter side to theft and home intrusion, the reality is that thousands of burglaries take place every day. Make sure your home or business is secured by taking all of the necessary precautions and installing an up-to-date home security system – for friendly, professional advice, get in touch with the dedicated team at Blackburn Arms today.