It’s not just March that has its fair share of mad escapades – there are plenty of clueless criminals attempting to pull off idiotic robberies for every month in the calendar. Here are some of the more remarkable stories which took place during April in the British Isles and beyond.
Track my crime spree
With 29 offences and 50 convictions to his name, serial do-badder Lee Fenwick was released earlier this year… but not without a shiny ankle bracelet to wear as a reminder of his time in the slammer. The device allows police to track his movements via an electronic tagging system… so Fenwick thought it would be the perfect occasion to take his new fashion accessory on a crime spree.
Just weeks after being released early from a three-year sentence, Fenwick helped himself to power tools, copper piping and other maintenance equipment at four different properties in just a few days. On the last occasion, police traced his whereabouts via the tag to a garden from which he had just pilfered a can of WD40 and was using it mend his bicycle. He had also attempted to drill the bracelet off his leg to no avail and was given a further three-year sentence by the judge.
Trapped by plundered treasure
A man was trapped in his getaway vehicle by the very quad bike he had been trying to steal, forcing him to wait for the rozzers to let him go and then lock him up. Colin Freer, a 34-old-year repeat offender, had driven 100 miles in his van to steal a quad bike worth £5,000. Only recently out of prison, Freer had been tipped off to the location of the bike by an unnamed accomplice, who went with him to the site in Rotherham.
However, after loading the bike into their van and making a speedy getaway, Freer’s plan came a-cropper when he crashed into a brick wall and flipped his Ford Transit onto its side. Though his pal was able to scarper, Freer was trapped in his seat by the weight of his stolen booty and was forced to wait until the police arrived on the scene to release him (and then immediately arrest him).
He pleaded guilty to stealing the bike, as well as driving without a valid license and having no car insurance. Sentencing has been deferred until July to see if Freer can keep himself out of trouble.
No way out
Over in the good old U-S-of-A, a swashbuckling burglar abseiled his way into a New Orleans sporting goods store, only to realise he couldn’t clamber back up to safety again. The hapless thief started off his raid in full Mission Impossible style, dropping from the roof via a length of rope he’d brought along for the job.
However, once inside the store, the man set off the security alarm and panicked. After trying several different methods of escape, including scaling the walls and pulling himself back up the rope he’d come down, he finally located a back exit at the rear of the store. He was able to skedaddle before the Old Bill could arrive on the scene – but fortunately for our viewing pleasure, all of his daft exploits were caught on the in-house CCTV.
Shrek to the rescue
Meanwhile, down under in sunny Australia, an incompetent ne’er-do-well made off with $40 in cash and a full complement of Shrek DVDs… but left behind his own wallet containing $200. According to homeowner Brian Wilkes, the man must have been so taken with the green ogre that he forgot to pocket anything else, including his own wallet.
“This is amateur hour at its finest,” explained Mr Wilkes. “Shrek has really saved the day. He must have been so distracted by him that he left without his wallet and barely took anything… Unfortunately, he didn’t leave his license in there. He could have just asked me and I would have accepted it as a trade. I guess it shows just how desperate some of these guys are becoming.”
Mr Wilkes has indicated he is going to use the money left behind by the dopey Dreamworks fan to replace his four-year-old son’s DVDs and buy him a nice meal.
Home security is no laughing matter
Though these stories show a lighter side to theft and home intrusion, the reality is that thousands of burglaries take place every day. Make sure your home or business is secured by taking all of the necessary precautions and installing an up-to-date home security system – for friendly, professional advice, get in touch with the dedicated team at Blackburn Arms today.