Hares and hatters might get a bad rap when it comes to March, but wannabee burglars have been proving that they’re every bit as mad over the last month. From botched attempts to ransack bookmakers to epic Facebook fails, the last 30 days have seen their fair share of ham-fisted criminal escapades. Here are a handful of the more remarkable from the UK and beyond.
Golf putter cock-up in Scotland
A would-be thief put his intended victim on high alert when he sent a text message to him revealing his plan to “do him in” and steal a golf club for sale.
Gregor Ford had been trying to flog an old Odyssey putter on Facebook Marketplace for the princely sum of £20. He thought he’d found a buyer in the shape of an anonymous correspondent who messaged him about the club. However, after being told that the putter was still for sale, the nameless man sent him another message presumably intended for his friend, inviting him to “do him in and take it off him”.
The hapless do-badder quickly realised his mistake and tried to rectify it, sending a flurry of three texts after the first one, claiming the message was “for ma pal” but “not about you”. Needless to say, Ford didn’t reply.
Third time’s a charm?
A persistent robber tried to raid three different bookmakers in the space of 20 minutes in Wolverhampton earlier this year, ending up in jail for his troubles.
44-year-old Leroy Walker began his ill-fated crime spree at 6.45am on the 11th February, when he entered his first target and demanded the cashier hand over everything or he would shoot him. However, he was sent packing empty-handed, as the man called his bluff and Walker was not actually armed.
Undeterred, he entered a neighbouring branch of William Hill just moments later and repeated his threat to the cashier there. Pretending that the safe was in the back office, the attendant called the police on Walker, only for him to get fed up and waltz off before they could arrive.
Despite having been knocked back twice now, Walker raided his third shop – a local Betfred branch – and finally got his grubby mitts on £120 in cash… only for two punters in the shop to restrain him until the fuzz arrived. He was sentenced to three years and four months in the slammer.
Better late than never?
The proliferation of guns in the US means that armed robberies are unfortunately an all-too-often occurrence over the pond… but normally the culprits remember to wear their disguise before they start brandishing a pistol.
Not this plucky young gun-slinger, though. CCTV captures the awkward moment the robber remembers he’s supposed to pull the balaclava over his face, but only after he’s halfway through his attempt at a stick-up.
Though he baddie got away with it on this occasion, it’s clear that his larceny skills aren’t up to much and it’s surely only a matter of time before the long arm of the law catches up with him – especially with his mug snapped by the CCTV.
Caught with his pants down
It’s one thing to be caught without your facemask down, but it’s quite another to be caught with your pants around your ankles. That’s exactly what happened to another clueless criminal in Tucson, Arizona after he tried to break into Miles Elementary School.
The unfortunate thief was spotted by a passer-by as he attempted to flee the scene, only for his baggy jeans to get snagged on the spikes of the school fence. The result left the man hanging upside down by his ankles, with his pants keeping them for company. The world not only saw his underwear, but a good deal of his shame, to boot.
It’s unclear what the man was trying to steal from the school or how severely he will be dealt with by police, but in this instance he was literally caught with his pants down.
Home security is no laughing matter
Though these stories show a lighter side to theft and home intrusion, the reality is that thousands of burglaries take place every day. Make sure your home or business is secured by taking all of the necessary precautions and installing an up-to-date home security system – for friendly, professional advice, get in touch with the dedicated team at Blackburn Arms today.